Even Good Men Can Live In Darkness
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: Skye and Trip discuss Ward. Trip shares some things that shock Skye and make her question everything she's thought about Ward up until now. Note: Skyeward and Trimmons are more concepts than physical ships. There's not any cuddling or physical contact but it's discussed and heavily implied.


**So, I don't even know where this came from guys, but I'd appreciate feedback on it all the same. I'm sorry there's no Skyeward hugs or Trimmons cuddles, but there wasn't a good way to fit them in and have this run with the beginning of Season 2 like it's supposed to. I'll try to put something cute and fluffy out soon.**

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><p>The monitor flickered a bit as Skye stared at it, watching the man portrayed there. She was mad at him, so mad. So incredibly mad. And it wasn't like she didn't have a good reason to be; he'd lied to them all. Betrayed everyone. She shouldn't even be watching him on this monitor; they had people who did this for them.<p>

But she couldn't get Trip's words from earlier out of her head. _Trip._ God, what was she going to do about him? He claimed to have gone to Coulson and told him everything, but she wasn't sure she believed that. But then again, would he have really told her what he had if he hadn't talked with Coulson already? Would he really risk being locked up like Ward just to try to earn the man some sympathy?

She'd thought it was all a lie at first. Trip was too good a guy to have ever been even remotely associated with Hydra. But the more he'd told her, the more she'd realized he wasn't just spinning some story to get her to talk with Ward; he was actually confessing.

_The rhythmic striking of her fists against the punching bag didn't do much to alleviate Skye's frustration. She couldn't believe Coulson had made her go see him just to get information. She didn't want to see Ward, if only in part because she had a very hard time keeping an indifferent attitude when it came to him. _

_She'd stopped Deathlok from killing him for several reasons, but one of them had been because part of her cared for him. It was a part she constantly fought against because she knew she couldn't trust him. But she knew all the same that she would be hard pressed not to fall for any more of his lies. Part of her still wanted to trust and believe him, regardless of what he'd done. That was the part she was currently trying to beat into submission via physical exertion. _

"_You know, that poor punching bag does need a break now and then." Trip's voice cut through the room, burying the sound of her harsh breathing in that moment just before he reached out and stopped the bag from swinging. Skye dropped her fists and stepped back once he'd stopped it, glancing down at her stiff hands. Red was blooming across several of her knuckles; evidence oft eh hard workout she'd forced her body through. _

_Trip didn't even slow down as he moved around the bag to lead her back to the bench in the room. His fingers nimbly unwrapped the boxing tape, carefully cradling her hand as he did so. It was like he was afraid her hand would fall apart. May pushed her harder than she pushed herself _and_ the sonic agent left bruises to boot. She tried to pull her hands back, shoo Trip away, but only succeeded in him giving her the 'we can do this the easy or hard way' look. So she settle din and prepared for him to do whatever work he needed to as a medic._

"_You shouldn't punch the bag that hard," chided Trip calmly, shooting Skye a look. "We have missions we go on still, and having you benched because of a broken hand would be kinda sad."_

"_Sad for who, you or me?" asked Skye dryly, trying not to roll her eyes. It wasn't that they would miss her, it was more that they were majorly understaffed at the moment and couldn't afford to loose anyone._

"_Me," replied Trip easily, checking her fists for signs of damage. "I'd miss that dry, sarcastic wit of yours." That did make Skye laugh a little, but no where near what she normally wold have after a joke like that. "So tell me, what has you going after that punching bag like you stuffed every problem you have in there. Wait a minute," he paused to point at the bag in question. "You didn't stuff someone in there, did you?"_

_Skye huffed slightly, throwing in one more good punch at the bag. "It would serve him right if I did."_

_Trip nodded slowly, reaching out to catch Skye's fist before it could hit the bag again and leading her over to sit down on the mats. "It's about Ward then."_

_She tried to scoff, but it sounded halfhearted even to her. "No, not at all. I don't even think about him anymore."_

"_And that would be a bold faced lie," stated Trip simply settling beside her. He stared at her for a long moment before releasing a heavy sigh. "I go down and see him, you know. Frequently. And you're all he asks about."_

"_What?!" choked Skye, staring at Trip in horror. She couldn't believe anyone would go down there to visit with Ward. The man was a psychopath. What possible reason could Trip have for visiting him?_

_The uneasy look that crossed his face made Skye want to run out of the room. That look didn't belong on Trip; it was the look of someone who was about to tell someone else something horrible. It was fear of rejection and consequence. Still, Trip didn't get up and leave. "It's not all Ward's fault, Skye. Garrett messed him up pretty badly."_

"_Please don't tell me you actually feel sorry for him, Trip," pleaded Skye, shaking her head a little. "He betrayed us. All of us."_

"_I know," sighed Trip, gulping a little. Skye felt herself tense worse. Whatever was going through Trip's head, it was bad. "It's not completely his fault, though. Garrett messed him up pretty bad."_

"_That's no excuse, Trip," argued Skye, reaching back to violently yank her hair from it's ponytail. "He had a choice and he chose to betray us."_

"_It's not that simple though, Skye," explained Trip, shaking his head a bit. "Garrett was Garrett. He had a way of doing things that just made you want to do what he said. And he didn't really give you a choice even if you didn't want to."_

"_Except he wasn't with Garrett for the those 6 months he was on the team," snapped Skye, her irritation bubbling over. Why was Trip being this pushy about it? He should feel as betrayed as they all did! Garrett had turned his back on SHIELD just like Ward had turned his back on them. Trip had to feel some sense of betrayal from that."He was with us. He bonded with us. He pretended to get along with us so when Hydra came along we wouldn't see him shoving a knife in our backs!" _

_Trip sighed heavily, leaning his head back against the wall with a soft thump. "I'm pretty sure Ward didn't want to betray you guys. And he sure as hell wasn't really Hydra, that much I know. He was playing along with it, like Garrett supposedly was. He never intended to actually follow them through."_

"_Yeah, I'm sure he told you that," growled Skye darkly, her memories of Ward's own lies when he'd held her on the bus all too sharp. "But Ward lies."_

"_He's never hurt you physically, right Skye?" countered Trip, a knowing tone to his voice. Skye balked a little at that. Okay, he had a point there; Ward had betrayed them, hurt her emotionally, but he'd never physically laid a hand on her._

_Still... "He's threatened me."_

_Trip fell silent for a long moment, almost like he was carefully choosing his next words. If he was though, he failed at careful word choice 101. "He wouldn't hurt you. You're the one good thing that's come to him in his life. You're something he can move towards and hold on to that'll help drag him out of the darkness."_

_Skye felt her eye twitch. God, she was so sick of hearing that. She wasn't anyone's salvation or light or any of that. Truthfully, she was as messed up as Ward in some ways. She couldn't be some beacon he could move towards. It was all a lie he'd concocted to try to get her under his thumb. "That's bullshit. Ward's a psychopath, that darkness is a part of him."_

"_No," snapped Trip firmly, his tone turning hard for the first time in their conversation. "No, he's not. Ward's gotten a shit hand in life, worse that any else I've known. If Garrett went after him, Ward already had to be in a pretty bad place. He prayed on the people who were in trouble to begin with."_

"_Yeah?" growled Skye, her hostility turning on Trip. How could he sit there and pretend like he knew so much about Ward? Whatever he'd been told was probably a blatant lie, anyway. "And how do you know so much about it, anyway?"_

_For a long moment, Trip didn't speak. He just sat silently beside her, eyes distant as he had some kind of a debate with himself. It took so long for him to speak, Skye almost got up and left. "Skye, I'm gonna tell you something personal right now, okay? I've only told Coulson, so you'll be the second person on this team to learn this. What I'm gonna tell you is gonna be shocking, but you've gotta hear me out. Deal?"_

_Skye paused a moment herself before nodding slowly in agreement, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. This couldn't be good, whatever it was Trip was going to tell her. The other agent _never_ looked this nervous and his warning was almost too ominous. But he was her friend (or at least she thought he was; between Miles and Ward, it wasn't exactly getting easier for her to trust people) and whatever he wanted to tell her sounded like something he considered important. She could put on her Rising Tide attitude and hear him out at least. "Alright, no judgment and no interruptions."_

"_Right," stated Trip, shifting a little uncomfortably. Of course, that was only serving to make Skye more uncomfortable, but she held her tongue all the same. Whatever Trip wanted to tell her, he'd already told Coulson and the man had deemed him not a threat. She had to trust Coulson's perspective on the matter._

_He opened his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. Skye just forced herself to stay still. She remembered how hard it was for some people to start telling their story; mentally she reminded herself to be patient. It had been so long since she'd used this mode- her fact seeking side that wanted only the truth- that she nearly squirmed waiting for Trip to speak. It was only through great force she didn't start fidgeting._

"_Garrett always went after the kids who already had it rough," began Trip slowly, his voice low. It was almost like he was afraid someone would overhear what he was saying. And that scared her more than anything else had so far. "He chose kids who were beaten by their parents, who felt abandoned and helpless. Juvie was his favorite hunting ground. He'd look at the kids going in and he'd choose ones that had something special about them: off-the-charts hand-eye coordination, abnormal flexibility..." His voice trailed off for a moment, eyes finally rising to meet Skye's. "...the grandson of a Howling Commando."_

_Skye felt her blood run cold, eyes locked with Trip in the hopes he was referring to someone else. Anyone else. Another grandson of a different Howling Commando. But the haunted look in her eyes said her hopes were baseless and false. "Trip-"_

"_Hang on, girl, let me finish," soothed Trip as best he could, his voice tight and worried. Forcefully, she bit her lip to silence herself. He'd ask that she let him explain, so she would. There had to be a good explanation; Trip was too good a man to be one of Garrett's lackeys._

_Taking a deep breath, he returned his gaze to the floor, though his hand sought hers for support. She didn't even think about it as she took his hand, wrapping her fingers around his own. "He would pick us up from whatever trouble we were in, made us disappear somehow, and dumped us in the middle of the woods with nothing. No gear, no supplies. He left us there and expected us to survive on our own." He paused to take another deep breath and Skye knew Trip's eyes were probably shut. "He left me alone for four months with nothing but the clothes I'd thrown in a bag when I ran with him." Again, Trip paused, taking another deep breath. "He left Ward out there for six months. He was out there so long, he built a cabin for shelter."_

_Skye's heart twisted uncomfortably as she absorbed Trip's words. Garrett had left Trip alone in the woods for four months and Ward for six. He'd abandoned them with nothing. "How did he expect you to survive?"_

"_He didn't," admitted Trip quietly, eyes still turned to the ground. "When he showed back up four months later, he told me he'd expected me to be long gone. I asked Ward, he said the same thing to him. Garrett just left us out there to see if we could survive. If we failed, we weren't worth his time. If we survived, we were."_

_A lump was forming in Skye's throat. If what Trip was saying was true, it explained some things about Ward. Explained his difficulty working with others, maybe even his badly arrested social skills. But six months alone wouldn't do that and Trip had only been there for four. "What happened after that?"_

_Trip shifted a bit, his fingers tightening on hers. "When Garrett came back for me, he brought a gun. Said he was going to teach me to shoot. He said I had it easier because the guy before me had already built a cabin. I could live there, go to school, and as long as I did whatever he said, he'd make me into a man." His fingers tightened to the point where Skye thought she might loose feeling in her fingers, but she didn't make him let go. "He promised I'd be strong; strong enough to stand up to anyone who tried to mess with me again." _

_Skye couldn't help it. She'd promised he could explain himself, but she had to ask one question, otherwise she wasn't sure she could get through the rest of his story. "Did he made that promise to Ward?"_

"_Yeah," confirmed Trip quietly. "He promised us both that. Ward was the first kid he brought in that survived. I was the second. Pretty sure we're the only two to made it." Again, he paused to take a breath. Skye could hear the stress in his voice. "He talked us both into following him, joining Hydra. It was a load of bullshit. Garrett was dying; he needed Hydra to find a way to save him. So we went along with it, pretended to believe that load of shit they were spouting off."_

"_I don't understand," murmured Skye softly, shaking her head slowly. Well, she sort of did. She'd been a kid like Ward and, apparently, Trip. She'd wanted love, wanted to be strong so she could fight her own battles. But unlike them, because she'd grown up alone, she was able to just walk away and become someone else. They couldn't do that, which had made both men perfect targets for Garrett. But if they had both agreed to at least pretend to go along with Hydra's plan, why hadn't Trip left like Ward did? Was it because he got stuck? There had to be ways he could have left, joined back up with Garrett. He wasn't feeding the man information either; they'd taken Garrett down too easily for there to be a mole in their presence. Plus, she doubted he would be telling her any of this if he was still working with Hydra. "If you were with Garrett, then why are you still here?"_

"_I changed my mind," admitted Trip quietly, finally lifting his gaze from the floor. He still wasn't looking at Skye; now he was focused on some distant point on the wall. "Ward and I? We thought to be strong we had to stay in the shadows, hover in darkness. Keep our distance from everyone, trust no one." For the first time since their conversation started, Trip looked directly at Skye. "You're Ward's light Skye, and Simmons is mine. I changed my mind about defecting with Hydra because of Simmons. Because she reminded me that I could be a human and that strength wasn't measured just in strength. When she looked to me to protect her, I- I just wanted to keep her safe. I couldn't explain why, but it was the most human I'd felt in forever and I wanted to keep feeling that way."_

"_So you stayed," whispered Skye with a slow nod. "It's why you practically begged Simmons not to leave. And why you half-begged Coulson to let you go with her." She remembered all too well the day Simmons had told them she was leaving and the days following. Trip had been moping around the base for almost a week afterwords. Then he'd gotten a call and it had snapped him out of it at least a little bit. "Does she call you once a week?"_

"_At least," admitted Trip quietly, his hand squeezing Skye's once more. "Look Skye, I stayed because of Simmons. I had the perfect chance and the perfect cover."_

"_So did Ward," reminded Skye. She could hear the bitterness in her own tone, but ignored it. There wasn't really a point in denying the fact that it hurt that Ward hadn't stayed for her. "He could have stayed. He didn't have to get on that plane with Garrett."_

"_Yes," countered Trip, "in some ways, he did. Garrett had a way of making us feel like we owed him something when we didn't. He only had me for eight years and during most of that time I wasn't alone with him, not completely. I actually spent a good chunk of that time in SHIELD. Admittedly, I was training under him, but I was still in SHIELD. But Garrett had Ward for fifteen years, and at least five of those were spent with Ward isolated in the woods. That's a lot of time for a crazy narcissist like Garrett to have access to someone as broken as Ward."_

_Skye shook her head slowly, trying to absorb everything Trip was telling her. Garrett had isolated Ward for five years in the woods? And Ward had been under his thumb for fifteen years? "But I don't get how Garrett could have wormed his way into Ward's head so thoroughly unless Ward already agreed with the principles Garrett was spewing."_

"_Garrett isolated us, Skye," explained Trip quietly, his eyes focused back across the room. "He made us depend on him for human contact. For training and survival. He was like a twisted version of a dad for us."_

"_But you still got away," pointed out Skye again. "You walked away. He could have done the same."_

_Trip shook his head a bit, disagreement clearly written on his face. "Except for one thing: I was never as entranced by Garrett as Ward was. For the first few years, Garrrett isolated me just like he did Ward, but I wasn't as beaten down as Ward when he found me. My home life was bad, but Ward's was hellish by comparison. There weren't others around for me to feel responsible for; Ward had two younger siblings he wanted to protect above all else and a true psychopath for an older brother. He carried a lot of weight on his shoulders and he was a little younger when Garrett literally saved him from a trial that would have probably landed him in prison for at least a few years if not half his life." He leaned forward a little then, catching Skye's eyes once more. "Look, what Ward did was bad and I'm not condoning it. All I'm saying is that it's not as straight forward as it seems."_

_Slowly nodding, Skye released Trip's hand and reached up to rub at her eyes. This whole conversation was giving her a headache. Ward was an abuse victim Garrett had somehow twisted into his puppet and Trip was the same way, but unlike Ward, Trip had decided to stay with the team. It was almost panic inducing- the fact she'd been working so closely with a man who was nearly a Hydra traitor for so many months and not known. Why Coulson hadn't told her, she couldn't begin to guess. Why he hadn't sent Trip packing was an equally good question. She did wonder if this was part of why he'd agreed to Simmons request though: keep her somewhere far away and out of sight and maybe he could control Trip? No, that wasn't Coulson's style. He wouldn't use Simmons like that._

"_Why are you telling me all of this?" asked Skye at last, her eyes meeting and holding Trip's gaze. "I get why you don't want other people to know all of this, but why tell me?"_

_Trip just gave her a sad half-smile and stood, leaning over to give her a one-armed hug. "Because you deserve to know the truth. From what Ward says, it's what you came to SHIELD hunting and it's what I want you to know. I get it if you don't believe a word I just said and I'm not gonna assume this information won't change things, but ask Coulson and he'll confirm my story. Everything I just told you about Ward and Garret and I is the truth. How you use that information, if you use it, is up to you."_

_Standing, Trip took a deep breath and stretched out his back slowly, eyes focusing across the room again. His tone, when he spoke again, was almost conversational- like he hadn't just thrown Skye's entire world into chaos. "I'm thinking of telling Simmons. Even if she never wants to speak to me again, at least I'm not keeping that secret from her."_

"_It would be a good idea," confirmed Skye quietly, her mind feeling momentarily shattered. "It hurts worse to find out from someone else, and Simmons will find out."_

"_I know," assured Trip softly. "I'm pretty sure she already suspects there was something off before. She's just never said anything."_

"_Yeah," muttered Skye, standing as well and heading for the gym door. "Talk to her. I'm gonna go...I don't know."_

"_Do what you gotta, Skye," stated Trip calmly as he approached the bag she'd been using before. "And talk to Coulson. It'll help."_

_She just nodded as she exited, mind in chaos. _

Trip had told her a lot, but there was more he hadn't told her and she knew it. There were a lot of lines to read between and some things were just too painful to discuss. But she was good at reading between the lines and seeing what people were trying to hide. She'd joked it was her superpower before she'd discovered her skills with computer.

Watching Ward pace back and forth in his cell, she tried to match the man before her with the image Trip had painted. Coulson had confirmed some of his story and Skye had managed to confirm the rest. Ward's records were spotless, but they were that suspicious spotless that meant someone (who wasn't her) and cleansed the records long ago. She might have deleted everyone's public records, but she'd skimmed everything before deleting it, too. It was habit. And at the time, she hadn't found anything connected with Ward that even hinted at the abuse Trip had described. Given Trip had been spending a lot of time with Ward (more than Skye had been), he was the one who'd know if there was stuff out there that wasn't documented. And if Ward was as badly abused as Trip had stated, it probably wasn't documented anywhere. Which was exactly what Skye was here to figure out. The worst abuse cases rarely were documented. Some people thought the grotesque abuse cases were the worst, but it was the ones that went on and on without being discovered that were actually the worst. At least, to Skye they were.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the small device used to control the laser wall and moved through the door to the vault. She probably wasn't ready for this, but she wasn't sure she ever would be either. And if you're never gonna be ready, you might as well do it sooner and get it over with. Besides, she owed it to Trip at least to try and confirm what he said. Ward had betrayed them but Trip made a different choice. He was still on their side and maybe, with Garrett dead, Ward was, too.

"Skye." Ward's breathy voice cut through the room, his wide brown eyes staring at her like she was some kind of angel.

It wasn't really any different from when she'd last been down there: he still looked like he'd been through hell and looked at her like she was his saving grace. She still felt the sharp urge to gather him up and just hug him. Even if he was a traitor, part of her still wanted to protect him from himself, like she had in the Hub and Providence.

"Ward." Her voice cracked as she said his name, mind already shouting objections as she approached his cell. This time though, she walked right up to the lasers and didn't look away from him. These were going to be hard questions to ask and the answers would probably be harder to hear, but she needed to ask all the same. She needed to know the truth. "I think we need to talk."


End file.
